America, America, we're here to save the motherf**kin day now!

Oh lordy I haven't blogged in forever, but I've found something with enough lolz to drag me out of the woodwork. The History channel's America: The Story of Us, is basically my primary school textbook come to life via the mutated spawn Jerry Bruckheimer, and James Cameron. Complete with freeze frames, explosions, and golden ghost trails erupting from horses' behinds (how else are you supposed you tell Ben Franklin is galloping at full tilt?!) America...is a 13 year old boys whitewashed wet dream put to history.

America: yada, yada, yada has done little to change my mind (or give me hope) about the mainstream view of American history.
The settlers treatment of the Indigenous Americans has been nothing more then a series of stories painted with smiling faces. They did dole out a single sentence to the small pox epidemic that systematically desecrated the Indigenous populations after first contact ... cuz you know that was sad. The robbery of Manhattan seems to have been forgotten (dude sweet deal!), and sure slavery was bad, but some guys got free and even fought along side the revolutionaries!1! ... equal opportunity for all right?

Why do I have the feeling of Howard Zinn could see this he'd be rolling in his grave?

Things I've learned (so far!)

1. Musk bullets move in slow motion, especially before they hit people.
2. Black and white makes everything more awesome!
3. Ragtag militiamen had a real hard on for George Washington.
4. Every event that has been documented by America: The Story of Us, has changed the course of America/history/the world FOR-EVE-ER!!!1!! (Seriously, it's every other sentence...)
5. In ye olden dayz houses pop out of the ground, like flowers.
6. Bayonet wielding is Serious Business!
7. Random ass celebrities make history come alive. (thanks Michael Douglas!)
   

FEEL THE EPIC!!!!!!11

Needless to say I know what I'm doing every Sunday for the next six weeks: Live blogging America: the Story of Us with an open bottle of Jack Daniel's. Hee Haw!

And Our Number One Spot Goes To

Today is the day I have been waiting for since the announced they were beginning filming in October. I will be at the cinema this evening. With a large smile in my face.

#1
"Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose"
Season 3, Episode 4

In the midst of a psychic sideshow while on a murder case. Mulder and Scully enlist the help of a man who may have a true psychic ability to foresee how people will die. Mulder hopes to use this ability to help catch a man killing fortune tellers. (from tv.com)

Why I love it: It's perfect. Humorous and touching, like Jose Chung's it loops back upon itself, as it ties up the loose ends. Like Beyond the Sea, Peter Boyle is a perfect guest star. You laugh and at the same time you're touched by his tragic hero. The script itself it witty, and some of the sublime humor is bar none. Like Boyle's character guessing that a scrap or fabric is from Mulder's NY knicks t-shirt. (from Beyond the Sea) Also like Jose Chung's, this episode really deserves multiple viewing, just to lap up all the details. I always play this episode for X Files newbies, not only to prove how great the show really is. But to prove that great television is out there. I want to believe. (*wink* groan...)

PS: This is also one of the most well done pieces I've ever read or heard, about fate and chance. It really makes you think.

Quotable Quotes:
Yappi: Skeptics like you make me sick.
Mulder: Mr.Yappi, read this thought.
(Yappi concentrates for a moment)
Yappi: So's your old man!

Clyde: What is this?
Mulder: The only evidence recovered from Claude Duckenfield's body. That fiber may have come from something the killer was wearing at the time of the crime.
Clyde: Don't you have crime labs that could analyze these things for you?
Scully: (meaningful look at Mulder) Yes! Yes, we do.
Clyde: Look, I've got my own work to do. I'm not a crime fighter by trade.
Mulder: Mr. Bruckman. I can't speak for my partner. But I'm desperate. For some insurance.
Clyde: General Mutual has some very comprehensive coverage...
(Mulder waves the evidence bag in front of Clyde's face)
Clyde: Oh I can't tell you where this is from, but the killer is going to kill more people before you catch him.
Scully: Can you see him physically yet?
Clyde: No. No, just more insight into his character which I know you hate.

Clyde: I'd like to see both of your badges again. Right now?
(Mulder and Scully take out their badges)
Scully: I don't blame you, Mr. Bruckman.
Clyde: (scoffs at Mulder's badge): I'm supposed to believe that's a real name? ... What is this all about? I found a dead body in my dumpster and I reported it to the police. Now suddenly I'm accused of doing things or being able to do things I couldn't possibly-- (Breaks off and walks slowly over to table, which is spattered with blood. Runs for the bathroom and vomits.)
Mulder: (To Scully) Pinch me.

(At the crime scene where the victim's eyes and entrails have been left on the table)
Photographer: They say the eyes capture the last image the murder victim sees before they get killed.
Detective Cline: What do they say about the entrails?
Photographer: "Yuck."


Clyde: We're almost there.
Mulder: Now how are you receiving this information about the body's location?
Clyde: How should I know?
Mulder: I mean are you seeing it in a vision or is it a sensation? How do you know where to go?
Clyde: I just know.
Mulder: But how do you know?
Clyde: I don't know!! (Mulder leans into the back seat and sulks) Look it's just up ahead. There are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified one than autoerotic asphyxiation.
Mulder: (Leans forward) And why are you telling me that?
Clyde: Look, forget I mentioned it. It's none of my business.


































And here's a great retrospective by Lylexf on YouTube here.

Go See X-Files I Want to Believe in cinemas now!

A Psychic Connection

Tomorrow is the day!

#2
"Beyond the Sea"
Season 1, Episode 12

Two college students are kidnapped and the only lead is an inmate named Luther Boggs, who claims to have information he's picked up through psychic transmissions. Mulder is sceptical; his profile put Boggs on Death Row and the man has reason to seek revenge. But Scully, who has seemingly just experienced a psychic vision after the death of her father, is suddenly open to extreme possibilities. Yet even she can't be sure if Boggs is telling the truth, or if she's being used as a tool by the desperate psychopath. (from the VHS tape)

Why I love it: It's a well written piece, and an acting tour de force. Brad Dourif is utterly convincing as Boggs, and I can see why some people joke about hiring real killers to play these parts. Dourif is chilling. Not to mention Gillian Anderson who's really truly shines here. In one scene where Scully confronts Boggs, I was screaming right along with her. I can't say enough good things about Anderson's performance in this one, it's remarkable. This episode is a stunner.

Quotable Quotes:
Scully: Did Boggs confess?
Mulder: No, no, it was five hours of Boggs' "channeling". After three hours I asked him to summon up the soul of Jimi Hendrix and requested "All Along the Watchtower." You know, the guy's been dead twenty years, but he still hasn't lost his edge.

(Boggs is supposable channeling visions from a piece of evidence)
Mulder: I tore this off my New York Knicks t-shirt. It has nothing to do with the crime.

Scully: You set us up. You're in on this with Lucas Henry. This was a trap for Mulder because he helped put you away. Well, I came here to tell you that if he dies because of what you've done, four days from now nobody will stop me from being the one that'll throw the switch and gas you out of this life for good, you son of a bitch!!!
Boggs: Dana... (in Mulder's voice) You're the one who believed me.
Scully: No! No, I do not believe you!
Boggs: If you don't believe me, maybe you'll believe yourself.

Boggs: There was that one time when I was fourteen and my parents had gone to bed and I snuck downstairs all alone. Got one of my mom's cigarettes and went out onto the porch in the dark. I was so scared. My heart was beating, I mean, they would have killed me if they knew. But I was so excited. Not 'cause of the cigarette, I mean, it was gross, but because I wasn't supposed to.

Dana Scully talking about what she misses in Mulder, extra audio from the promo here.

I Learned a Little Something About Courage

Tell me are you excited yet?!

#3
"Jose Chung's From Outer Space"
Season 3, Episode 20

No one really knows what happened that fated night on a country road in Klass County - including Agents Mulder and Scully. So when famous novelist Jose Chung decides to document the incident once and for all, he discovers that it could have been an alien abduction, a government conspiracy -- or an alien abduction of government conspiracists. (from the VHS tape)

Why I love it: It's bleepin' awesome! It's a great comedy piece, every time I watch it I laugh. The story has a strange structure, but it works. It's kinda a study on the nature of truth, and reality, and the way all the little pieces fit together is genus. Also every time I watch it I realize a new twist. This episode is crazy good, and it's a wonderful jab at the complicated X Files alien mythology. The actor who plays Jose Chung cracks me up. Plus the cameos for the men in black, I won't spoiler it for people who haven't seen it, but...HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Quotable Quotes:
(Mulder screams a very high-pitched scream)
Detective Manners: That's a bleepin' dead alien body if I ever bleepin' saw one.

Blaine: (to Jose Chung) Well, hey... I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons And Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.

Scully: (Hanging up the phone) That was Detective Manners. He said they just found your bleepin' UFO.

Here's Gillian Anderson last night on Leno: Part I, Part II.

In the Final Moments

†˜*Three Days!*˜†

#4
"One Breath"
Season 2, Episode 8

Scully mysteriously appears in a Washington hospital, alive but in a coma, and Mulder must fight to keep her alive in order to find out what happened to her and who did it to her. Meanwhile, Scully fights her own personal battle as she decides whether to stay or go on to the next world. (from tv.com)

Why I love it: It's does in forty-five minutes, what most epic movies try to do in two hours and forty-five minutes. It tells an involving and touching story, that muses on life and death, love and family, justice and revenge. Not to mention it's the 3rd set piece in a story arch, that not only will have a lasting effect on the characters, but the entire show as well. A must see!

Quotable Quotes:
Byers: Good work, sneaking out those charts.
Frohike: Tucked 'em in my pants.
Mulder: Plenty of room down there.

Mulder: Him! That's what happened. Cancer Man! He's responsible for what's happened to Scully.
Skinner: How do you know that?
Mulder: It's a rumor... Who is he?
Skinner: It's not your-
Mulder: Oh, you can have it all, my badge, you can have the X-Files. Just tell me where he is.
Skinner: And then what? He sleeps with the fishes? We're not the Mafia, Agent Mulder. I know it's easy to forget it, but we work for the Department of Justice.
Mulder: THAT'S what I want.

Mulder: Sit down!
CSM: How'd you find me?
Mulder: Shut up! Tonight, I ask the questions! You're going to answer me, you son of a bitch!
CSM: Don't try and threaten me, Mulder. I've watched presidents die.
Mulder: Why her? Why her and not me? . . . Answer me!
CSM: I like you. I like her too. That's why she was returned to you.
Mulder: You should be the one to die.
CSM: Why? Look at me. No wife, no family, some power. I'm in the game because I believe what I'm doing is right.
Mulder: Right? Who are you to decide what's right?
CSM: Who are you? If people were to know the things I know, they would all fall apart. I told Skinner you shot the man in the hospital, but I didn't really believe it. And here you are with a gun to my head. I have more respect for you, Mulder. You're becoming a player. You can kill me now, but you'll never know the truth. (Mulder wants to shoot, but doesn't) . . . and that's why I'll win. Don't worry. This'll be our secret. We wouldn't want others to . . . start rumors.

William Scully: Hello Starbuck. It's Ahab. People would say to me. 'Life is short. Kids, they grow up fast. Before you know it, it's over.' I never listened. To me, life went at a proper pace of many rewards. Until the moment that I knew, I understood, I would never see you again, my little girl. Then my life felt as if it had been the length of one breath, one heartbeat. I never knew how much I loved my daughter until I could never tell her. In that moment I would have traded every medal, every commendation, every promotion, for one more second with you. We'll be together again, Starbuck. But not now. Soon.

Here's a totally lovely video shared by flipflopgirl1985 0n YouTube:

Try Saying it Ten Times Fast

Gahhh! I hate oversleeping, and I hate reading bad reviews of the things I love. X Files: I Want to Believe got bad reviews. Curses you critics, I want this film to do well!

#5
"Bad Blood"
Season 5, Episode 12

While exploring the deaths of cattle killed by a series of blood extractions, the agents uncover a cult of vampires residing in a small Texas town.

Why I love it: It's hilarious! The funniest X-File of them all, and everyone usually has this one as a favorite, including Gillian Anderson! I saw this episode for the first time when I was twelve, and it scared the pants of me, but made me laugh as well. I remember I decided to watch an episode of the Brady Bunch afterwards just to bring my pulse down. (remember I was twelve) I love this one, Anderson is ace, Duchovny's dry wit is on display, and the story flows very well. Plus Duchovny's rendition of the Shaft theme song, is one of televisions finest moments.

Quotable Quotes:
Mulder: C'mon, Scully, get those little legs moving! C'mon!

(Fantasy sequence)
Hartwell: You really know your stuff, Dana.
(Mulder interrupts the fantasy sequence)
Mulder: DANA?! He never even knew your first name!
Scully: You gonna interrupt me or what?
Mulder: No. You go ahead. (Mockingly) Dana...
(Fantasy sequence)
Hartwell: Agent Scully, you really know your stuff.

Scully: You're saying that I actually hit him... two times?
Mulder: Square in the chest. No effect.
Scully: And then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel?
Mulder: Well, I don't think I'll use the term flying squirrel when I talk to Skinner, but yeah... that's what happened.

Mulder: Oh, shi-... (Theme tune)

Here's the Sneek Peek, of The X Files: I Want to Believe that was aired during The Deadliest Catch:

Sweetheart, bitter heart

I saw The Dark Knight, it was really good. I hope that X Files: I Want to Believe lives up to it's hype as well.

#7
"Milagro"
Season 6, Episode 18

A writer living next to Mulder becomes obsessed with Scully and confesses to her that he is using her for a character in his novel. Scully finds herself strangely drawn to him even though he is now the prime suspect in the murder case that she and Mulder are investigating. (from tv.com)

Why I love it: This piece remind me of drama classes I had about breaking down the fourth wall. The fourth wall being, what separates the characters in a play from the audience. All this meaning it's when characters in a play forget that they're actually figments of someone's imagination. It's ironic for the X Files to take on this subject matter, seeing that Chris Carter invented these characters, and once the phenomenon struck, Mulder and Scully took on a life of their own. The Milagro story is commentary on the power of art and imagination, inside the already established universe of the X Files. A picture within picture. Plus it's just a really cool hour of television.

Quotable Quotes:
Padgett: (To Scully) I have to admit, I noticed you. I do that - notice people. I saw that you wear a gold cross around your neck so I was taking a chance with the painting - explaining something you may have already known. I saw Georgetown parking permits on your car dating from 1993 and a government exempt sticker that lets you park anywhere you like. You don't live in this area, but as a federal employee you have reason to frequent it. You're fit, with muscular calves, so you must exercise or run. There's a popular running route right nearby that you might use at lunch or after work. You'd have noticed this church in passing, and though parking is always a problem in this part of town, your special privileges would make it easy to visit. Not as a place of worship, but beacuse you have an appreciation for architecture and the arts. And while the grandeur is what you take away when you visit, this painting's religious symbolism would have left its impression, jogged by the gift you received this morning.
Scully: That was from you?
Padgett: I have to admit to a secret attraction. I'm sorry I didn't include a note explaining that, but you didn't know me then.
Scully: Yeah and I don't know you now. And I don't care to.
Padgett: I see this is making you uncomfortable and I'm sorry. It's just that I'm taken with you. That never happens to me. We're alike that way.

Scully: Mulder, you are making critical assumptions without any facts. What about time of death, what about- what-
(Mulder stops, grabs Scully, and spins around so she's standing in his place and he's taken her spot) Mulder, what are you doing?
Mulder: Well, you're about to argue my usual side, aren't you?
Scully: Why couldn't he have imagined it? Why couldn't he just be in the killer's head?
Mulder: You read his book. You read what he wrote about you. [He wrote about Scully and "the stranger" having sex] Are you trying to tell me he got inside your head? That what I read is true?
Scully: (Doesn't meet his eyes) Mulder, of course not.

Really beautiful written, insightful X-Files reviews, by Sarah Stegall. Here