- Any mention of an action changing the course of history/America/the world:
0ne shot - Black and white/slo-mo/ freeze frame: one shot
- Bear Attack!: two shots
- White Washing/racism: one shot
- Hyperbole: two shots
- Random celebrity: one shot
9:o6 Daniel Boone toturtured by savage took -one shot
9:07 Donald Trump
9:10 Fancy Rocky Mountains & Death:-one shot
9:11 Mini Bear attack: half shot
9:11 Norman Rideout is terrifying! (J's Note: All three of us screamed. Loudly.)
9:13 Everybody loves beavers
9:15 Noble Savages - one shot
9:16 BEAR ATTACK!- two shots
9:18 Michael Douglas and "a tidal wave of hope" - one shot
9:19 Ore(gone)
9:21 "The greatest toll of all: DEATH" - one shot
9:23 Already drunk
9:25 (Julie takes over)
9:26 Farrin is now too drunk to type. Julie is now blogging. (She claims she can type. I doubt this.)
9:28 Sheryl Crow (and Donner Party birth scenes. In German.)
9:30 Tamsin Donner's journal Entry: "If the journey continues like this, I shall think that the difficulty was all in the beginning." Famous last words if I ever heard them...
9:31 A broken axle. And wolves. And 5' of snow. With ominous music. 60 FOOT DEEP SNOWDRIFTS HOLY SHIT!
9:32 3 weeks = no more food. "They then ate pack animals. Then charred bones. Bark. Leaves. Dirt." Farrin says "Cannibalism!" Show says: "Cannibalism." When did it happen? Christmas. Labeled flesh so they don't eat their own kin. (2 gallon kettle of human blood. AAAAAAAACK)
9:34 "Gold fever is about to change the West. And the American character forever!"
9:36 Farrin: I can still type! There's some kind of Chevy commercial which means I can stop drinking!
9:40 Julie is back in control. Also: the Spanish Empire > America.
9:41 Slow-mo fall off the Alamo! Slow-mo sandbags. Slow-mo Davey Crockett Death! 3 shots for Farrin!
9:42 REMEMBER THE ALAMO! (Also: "A turning point")
9:42 Slow-mo formation of gold: magma --> quartz --> GOLD
9:43 James Marshall finds a 3 oz. nugget of gold. Farrin cracks up.
9:44 "In California, you can taste the American Dream"
9:45 Gold Fight! Farrin wants to drink. Julie says no.
9:47 Co-founder of Wikipedia!
9:47 Magic Growing California Cities!
9:49 Farrin is switching from shots of Cafe Aztec to shots of water
9:49 Geico caveman commercial of a Segway tour of Washington DC with pedantic teenager teaching funfacts about the White House
9:50 Farrin: "The lights are really bright." Real life: Not so much. Only kitchen lights are on.
9:51 Farrin: Since when are we fighting in the Himalayas?
9:52 "God, I hate this fucking wall commercial. Are you blogging that? God. I'm never going to get hired again."
9:53 AND WE'RE BACK!
9:54 At 18, the boy becomes a man. And who is this boy? ABE LINCOLN!
9:55 Magic building log cabins: "The trailer homes of the day!" "And they bury their dead!" Um...yes?
9:55 Abe Lincoln freeze frame of chopping wood.
9:55 John Legend cameo (Julie doesn't know who this is, but Farrin's drinking again)
9:58 "The West is open for business!"
10:00 "Lookit how tight that man's pants are!"
10:01 Farrin has the computer!
10:01 POWERHOUSE!
10:03 "the United states of America isn't going to let nature stand in its way!"
10:o4 Giuliani -one shot
10:05 "oh fuck it's Bloomberg"
10:06 Alcohol, the Irish, and explosions. Sounds a lot like tonight, really! (J's note: Except a helluva lot more Irish than us...considering that the two of us only make up half of an Irishwoman)
10:07 P. Diddy FUCK more booze
10:10 "humans owning other humans. It's called slavery." Thanks History Channel!
10:11 Julie is back in control
10:12 "Cotton spreads west in search of fertile soil." Really now? The cotton itself?
10:15 "WHY IS IT SNOWING INSIDE???" "Because it's a cotton mill. It's...cotton."
10:16 "Mill-girls help support widowed mothers and drunken or invalid fathers." Farrin: "Don't tempt me, History Channel."
10:16 OH FUCK IT'S MARTHA STEWART
10:17 Cotton mills pioneered Silicon Valley. AND THE INTERNET!
10:19 Women's suffrage: brought to you by whales.
10:20 SLOWMO COMPUTER ANIMATED WHALE (with scary music as whale breaches the water)
10:20 The Hubble Space Telescope runs on whale oil. Really???
10:21 Whaling = opportunities for black men. The whaling industry provided equal opportunities...to die?
10:23 Farrin: "Look! I can still walk! ...It takes more concentration than I'd like to admit"
10:27 And we're back! To a slave auction day in New Orleans.
10:29 Ohhhh...It's Al Sharpton. one shot
10:34 Frederick Douglass is about to be caught for false papers. UNTIL A CHICKEN GETS LOOSE ON A TRAIN TO BALTIMORE!!!
10:35 Harriet Tubman kept babies quiet with opium. Hell yeah.
10:48 We appear to have gotten too distracted to blog. Also: Farrin is starting to sober up. And thus has the computer back to her after here.
10:51 Why is this show so patronizing, to everyone!?!
10:54 "[John] brown won't go down..."
10:56 Former NFL star... booze time
10:58 Random military dude booze
10:59 Newt Gingrich uggg...one shot
11:00pm
Liev Schreiber's the fucking narrator?!
....to be continued...
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